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Question for Chinese guys | Forum

JohnZ Jun 28 '16

What you boss said sounds very strange to me. It is 2016 and people still struggle with all kinds of stereotype which makes me really mad


Patty Aug 2 '16
Can't agree with your boss. To start with,Lily,as you said,you boss was 50!

How come what he described can stand for most Chinese guys? I mean,I've heard lots of moving and touching stories of amfw,some of them when I read,it even gave me some chills...

Like what I read today: a young Chinese guy met a Russian girl in a trip when he was still a college student,and eventually the girl fall for him and showed up his city and he totally burst tears...and that time he got nothing-didn't know what future career hold for him ,but she married him and now things work out and they have two children,and the guy has a career too.

I can go on and on...just lots of real stories like this.

Interracial relationship is a holy thing,Lily,it can give you sacred feelings,that is if you will use your heart. So I say if the opportunity shows,don't hesitate to grab it;) Best luck!

 

haoyangl Jan 19
Loyalty is quite important to Chinese, so I don't agree with your boss.

I would suggest you to date someone not purely online, which means you need to actually date with each other so that you can keep your relationship.

Tim818 Feb 8
It's generally true for the older generation and the ones who has lived in the US for a couple of years due to the difference in culture. I've never heard of an Asian American male saying they'd never marry a white girl.
The Forum post is edited by Tim818 Feb 8
tangning Mar 21
@lilykinz


As I was born and grew up in Nanjing, China, I think I am qualified to answer your question?


I'd say your boss is 50% right. 


First of all, China is big, and very inhomogeneous. The culture, and even the race(subrace?) is a little different across the country. So their opinion differs, definitely. No one represents the entire Chinese.


In general, Chinese would think the marriage in not only the bonding of the two people, but also the bonding of two families. It would be obviously difficult for you an his parents to communicate, if you don't speak Chinese(Mandarin). In Chinese culture, parents are very important, more than in the US I think. Chinese people really respect their parents. Unless you can speak Chinese and can communicate with his parents, perhaps his entire family as well, he would be reluctant as when he is thinking how you guys get along in the future. Many Chinese families are actually pretty open, but they expect you to communicate.  Oh, their English is terrible in general.


Now, let me put myself into the position to think about your question. I would definitely be open to a marriage with a European girl, on the condition that she convinces me in some ways that she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I think my parents prefer Chinese girls, but they are certainly open. So are my entire family. 

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