Stuck between cultures. | Forum

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fyjtukiyltuk Jul 6 '16
Hello all. Names Eric. I'm new here and I would like to start off by introducing myself with this topic.
As a first gen American born Asian with a triditional style family, (in the 80's)I grew up where I felt like the only Asian person in the neighborhood until 7th grade. I didn't start hanging out with other Asians until high school. When I did, other Asians would be so foreign to me. They did not consider me Chinese because I was not a FOB (fresh off the boat). Then the ABC's (American born Asians) were too white washed to want to associate with any other Asians. Mind you I spoke English, Cantonese and Hakanese fluently. I understood the culture pairings/clicks that went on all around not just with the Asians but the Russians, Italians ect. I was somewhat stuck for a long time struggling to place myself as either or. With age and time, eventually it didn't really matter. I hung out/dated with whoever, where ever and however I wanted without conforming to the social constructs that divides most people. Has anyone else felt this way?
joestarbill Jul 12 '16

Not really. Since I live in Canada, people are generally more open to different cultures regardless if you were born outside or inside, so making friends with Asians or non-Asians wasn't a problem for me.

However for high school, I went to a private school that was predominately full of Jewish or Russian kids. Making friends was no different from my childhood, but I really felt the distantness when it came to dating. They weren't interested in Asian men and no matter how hard I tried, they shrugged me off and didn't really bat an eye. There were Asian female students, but they preferred non-Asian men instead or they were keen on Korean males (but I was Chinese). My high school experience basically had no romance.

Now I am in university, I choose a school that is mainly attended by non-Asian students and I'm experiencing the same thing as I did in high school.

I haven't struggled on which culture I belonged to, but I struggled with the fact that most girls don't want to purse a relationship with Asian males (unless they are Korean). When I came across this site, I was surprised by the sheer amount of people who are encouraging of these kinds of connections.  

The Forum post is edited by joestarbill Jul 12 '16
Amira Oct 22 '16
i was born in the country which was very multicultural... since my childhood there were a lot of changes and  political as well. What i found - that when people try to live in their small society they find it difficult to understand other cultures. Now other people are struggling to frame me... as i was born in the European part.. then moved to Asia, after moved back to Europe and again to Asia.. and at the moment live in London... due to its multicultural environment. And when people ask me where i am from.. i just tell a random country... ))  

The similar situation goes to South Africans and some other countries... in the end we all belong to Mother Earth ^^ and it is nice to be accepted for who you are as a person and not where you are from or "being traditional")

Miketo Nov 11 '16
Dude I'm Korean and when I visited Korea I was told I wasn't Korean because my Korean speaking ability is poor.  I went there to learn Korea but after dealing the conflict I lost interest in study Korea.   The Korean government was paying to the trips and lodging.  So I slept in the same building as other Koreans.  I found Koreans around my age highly annoying.  Some of these guys stole flash light and a few other stuff.
I can't bear to hang with most Koreans I have met.  They are highly annoy and there's drama especially my cousin's friends.

Two of my best friends are white males.